Damaging birth control is a form of sexual assault


Sexual consent is a sacred contract between intimate sex partners.

Consent should be given freely and enthusiastically. It is a voluntary agreement to engage in sex that includes who, when and how.

Birth control is part of the agreement. Whether it is protected or condomless sex, all parties must consent to how. A person has the right to revoke consent whenever he or she chooses.

“Stealthing” is a sneaky betrayal when a male removes or damages his condom during sexual intercourse unbeknownst to his sexual partner. Stealthing is a violation of consent and a deeply unethical act of sexual domination by sexually-violent men. It is considered sexual assault at best and in some European nations stealthing can be prosecuted as rape. 

Stealthing is assault because it is a sexually aggressive act and a violation of the consent agreement. It is assault because it puts women at risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Stealthing has been making headlines because of its dangerous and toxic nature. Like ghosting, catfishing and breadcrumbing, stealthing is a physically and emotionally manipulative act. It is a vicious betrayal of someone who has granted an intimate experience only to be deceived and put at risk.   

Stealthing is rape and American courts need to call it rape. Some narcissistic college men actually boast on social media about puncturing condoms or slipping them off during intercourse because they claim “the right to spread my seed.” Classic rapists say the same sort of thing. 

Unfortunately, like other sexual sociopathologies, men tampering with birth control is not new.  Research conducted by OB-GYN Dr. Lindsay Clark revealed that 16 percent of her 641 female patients she surveyed said they have experienced partners tampering with birth control. Perpetrators poked holes in condoms, removed their condoms or hid their partner’s birth control. A 2010 study conducted by the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals reported a startling 1,300 California women who visited state and federal subsidized family planning clinics reported sabotaged birth control. Men scorn “gold digging” women, but the men who tamper with birth control far out numbers social climbing women.

Law enforcement is slowly coming around and American courts are warning men that stealthing is a crime. Young women need to understand that tampering with birth control can be considered rape, especially when perpetrated by romantic partners. 

Stealthing should never ever be tolerated. It should be reported to law enforcement. 

Men who promise to “pull out” prior to orgasm but do not may also be committing sexual assault because they violate consent. Surreptitiously damaged birth control or engaging in sneaky behaviors that can lead to pregnancy are sexual assault. Trying to impregnate a women against her will is sexual assault and an act of sexual violence.

Stealthing is domestic violence. Stealthing is sexual violence. Men who stealth are not clever, they are rapists.


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